The Final 12 - March 13, 2007

Good evening, Idol fans. The Seer here, ready to kick off the Final 12 in grand style. I bet you're all wondering how I took last week's shocking elimination of both Antonella and Sabrina, The Seer's two favorite Idol hotties. The answer is...not well. I'm still going through a little withdrawal. In fact, I've taped a full-body photo of Antonella to my TV screen. Which photo is it? Well, there were so many to choose from, but I went with the one of her on the toilet, which is where I think this season is headed without any hotties. I mean, c'mon, with those two gone, Sanjaya is easily the hottest chick left on the show. Problem is he's got no rack. Oh well, nobody's perfect.

On with the show...

So it's Diana Ross night, huh? What, Martha and the Vandellas were busy? I kid, I kid. Diana's a great guest, a great guest...for me to poop on! (Sorry, I just feel like channeling Triumph tonight.) Brandon's leading off tonight. Man, he sounds lousy. Just awful. What a horrible way to start the show. He's squeaking, he's forgetting his words. And those were the highlights. This guy didn't belong in the Final 12. He's a backup singer for a reason. They cut Sabrina for this? Ridiculous.

Melinda's next. She'll get things going. So they're letting viewers ask questions this season? Here's a question: WHERE THE HELL'S ANTONELLA? Now here's a backup singer who belongs at the front of the stage. I actually think the song was a bit boring, but it doesn't really matter. Her voice is one of the two best in the competition. She's in this for the long haul. Why is Paula crying? Did somebody steal her Valium?

Here comes Chris Sligh, who's going without glasses tonight. Endless Love is a risk, but he's made it sound like a Coldplay song. In fact, it's a Coldplay sample. First of all, he looks weird without the glasses. He looks, how can I put this, like a woman. Hey, that's Sanjaya's gig! I found this to be a very strange choice, which is strange from a guy who usually makes good choices. You should never take a famous song and turn it into something completely different. What's the point? Nobody wants to hear Endless Love as Coldpay would sing it. We want to hear it how Lionel RIchie sang it and see if you're equal to the task. This was a gamble that didn't pay off.

I just realized I haven't mentioned TSW yet tonight. Don't worry, she's here. She's just being quiet tonight. Aw, what a cute, quiet, little TSW. Aren't you precious? Goo goo, googly goo... OW! Why did you just smack me in the face? OK, I'll stop with the baby talk. Here's Gina, singing Love Child. Seems like a decent song choice. I never know what to think of her. I don't think she's getting any help from the band, whose arrangement feels a little thin. Gina sounds okay. Not bad. Not great. Kind of forgettable, actually.

Oh no. It's time for Sanjaya. God she's annoying. And she went with the Justin Guarini haircut tonight. Wait, it's not so much Guarini as it is Jennifer Grey from the Dirty Dancing days. You go, girl! This is actually Sanjaya's best performance of the season, which is a bit like saying Boise is the best city in Idaho.

Haley's up now. She's a cutie. I hope she does well. As cute as she is, her whole look and sound make her come across like a poor-man's Katharine McPhee. A very poor man's Katharine McPhee. I mean, we're talking like a homeless dude's Katharine McPhee here. She really doesn't deserve to be in the Final 12, either, and this performance could mean she won't make the FInal 11. Wait a second, she really pulled herself back up with her post-song interview. She was hilarious with her facial expressions, and she actually used the word "schmuck" on the air, an Idol first. That's gotta be worth something. I think Haley just won a lot of votes and bought herself another week with the greatest post-song chat in Idol history.

It's Phil's turn. He needs a big showing tonight. Phil is a really interesting contestant. He's capable of reaching great highs, but only if he picks the right songs. This was a good choice tonight. This was a good night for him. He's still a bit weird looking, but there's something likable and sincere about him. TSW says she just figured out that Phil sounds like Jon Secada, and therefore she's done with him.

LaKisha's up next. Now if anyone should be able to nail Diana Ross, it's LaKisha. I've got to say, even though I think she was nearly pitch-perfect, I didn't really like the song. I thought there was something missing to that performance. The judges disagree, but the judges aren't seers, now, are they?

It's Blake time, ya'll. He's gonna update You Keep Me Hanging On. Let's see if he does what Chris couldn't. Well, it was better than Chris' remake tonight, but it wasn't great. Blake's voice is a little weak and it showed tonight, but he's always entertaining. The boy can move, and as I've said many times, he's ultra-talented. I think he was hampered somewhat by having to do a Diana Ross song, but he should survive to next week.

Time for Stephanie. She's good, but she's probably a slight cut below the top two. She kind of reminds me of LaToya London in that she's technically good but she just doesn't have that wow factor. I think she needs to pick up the tempo next week if she's still around.

Okay, it's time for Chris Richardson. There's no love lost between Chris and The Seer. Frankly, he's done nothing but annoy me so far. I'm sorry, I just don't get him. He sounds weird. He moves weird. He makes weird faces. Frankly, he sounds like a dying schnauzer. I don't get it. Thank you, Simon, for finally validating what The Seer has said all along.

Jordin's the anchor babe tonight. TSW is calling it horrible. It doesn't sound that bad to me. It's one of the better performances in a night of mediocrity. Diana Ross is the best-selling female artist in the history of music, and I don't think the contestants could have picked 12 worse songs if they tried. Where were I'm Coming Out, Baby Love, Upside Down, Where Did Our Love Go, and Stop! In the Name of Love? Song choice, people. Pay attention to it. It can make you a star.

I think Brandon and Sanjaya each deserve to go home, with Gina right behind them. But I think the bottom three will be Brandon, Gina and Haley, with Gina going home.

Blog at ya next week,
Your Friendly, Neighborhood Seer








'