I am, however, afraid to say that I didn't actually realize that I can post photos on this blog. Many thanks to The Seer's Little Helper (SLH) for pointing that out. Way to go, SLH! You've either just greatly enhanced the reading pleasure of Seer fans everywhere, or you've begun The Seer's inevitable slide into cyberoblivion. My money's on the latter, especially since I've decided to post photos of the three things that happen to be on my mind this very second:
In case you're wondering, the first photo is of C.C. Sabathia, the ace of The Seer's beloved Cleveland Indians' pitching staff. The second photo is of a Skyline Chili 3-way, The Seer's favorite food. Which brings me to the third photo. In case you don't recognize her, it's Charisma Carpernter, possibly the world's hottest woman. TSW was watching Charmed the other night, which I swear she does seven times a day. (I wish I was kidding about that. There's some network that literally shows it 21 hours every day.) And who turns up on the show but Charisma Carpenter. I asked TSW what character she was playing, and guess what? Her character is called The Seer! Now I don't know exactly what to make of this, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that Charisma is head over heels in love with me. Right? RIGHT?!
On with the show...
Anybody notice Mickey Dolenz of The Monkees there? I love The Monkees. So here's the JLo intro. I wonder what she's really like. Some people say she's really nice, and others say she's a total bitch. We know one thing, this is one of the few guests who actually is making these kids go gaga. Go gaga? Go ga-ga, go ga-ga-ga is all I want to say to you...
Melinda's up first tonight, and she's right, she ain't sexy. She's the neckless wonder. Actually, she looks better tonight than usual. Good move with the necklace. She really does sound like Shirley Bassey. I don't think there's any question she's the most consistently good singer this season. Does she knock my socks off? No, but she's extremely talented and would be a worthy winner.Paula's got that glazed over look in her eyes tonight, although it's difficult to see through those bangs.
They've really front-loaded tonight's show, with LaKisha following Melinda. The two favorites right off the bat. How short is she? She's way shorter than JLo. Isn't JLo short? I don't understand celebrity heights. At all. I've never liked this song. (Apparently, TSW agrees.) Something about it bothers me. This is just okay. It's actually kind of boring. LaKisha has to be careful or she's going to hand this competition over to the neckless wonder.
Chris is up next. He's doing "Smooth," one of the most overplayed songs of the last 20 years. What the hell key is he singing in? An awful beginning. Man, he started off poorly and hasn't gotten any better. This is a disastrous song choice for him. It just doesn't fit his voice at all. The second half was immeasurably better than the first, but it doesn't make up for the crappiness of the first half.
Here comes Haley, who's probably living on borrowed time at this point. What's with all the Gloria Estefan tonight? I hate Gloria Estefan. Oooh, more short shorts. I'm sure to hear from The Seer's Brother again. As TSW said, that candy apple lipstick is a little much. Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Linda Blair? Not a great performance, or even good, but I didn't think it was bad as Randy or TSW thought.
It's Phil's turn. JLo says you can't buy goose pimples. Poppycock. I bought some at Sears the other day for $14.99. But I had to return them because I found out they were actually swan pimples. Freakin' Sears. As for Phil's performance, TSW is saying something about how pale he is and why are there so many tanning salons in Southern California. Or something like that. Anyhoo, he was pretty good. In general, I like his voice.
Jordin's up. Another god damn Gloria Estefan song? Excuse me, isn't Jennifer Lopez the guest tonight? What the hell's going on here? I don't care if this was the greatest performance in Idol history, which it isn't. I would still give it a thumbs down. This sucked. This whole show sucks. What are they going to sing when they have Estefan on as a guest? Prince songs? By the way, this girl is the most overrated contestant on the show this year. She's just not that good. 
Maybe Blake can rescue this train wreck. By the way, I'm sick of trying to keep track of who JLo's living with now. Ben, Mark, that first dude who nobody knew. The other dude nobody knew. Do you realize she's lived with 12 men in the last two years? Seems like it, anyway. What's wrong with these celebrities? I thought Blake was very good tonight. Light years ahead of anyone but Melinda. 
Sanjaya is last tonight? Oy. What if she comes out and does a fantastic job? That would be interesting, wouldn't it? I've got to say, she actually sounds like a real singer tonight. This was an excellent song choice. Not spectacular, but clearly her best performance of the season. I can't believe I'm writing this, but I've got to say that was the third best performance of the night.Okay, so what do we have tonight? Overall, a poor show. Not a single freakin' JLo song. What's up with that? Melinda's talent towered over everyone tonight, and she has taken a clear lead. Blake was good, Sanjaya was actually pretty good, and everyone else was mediocre at best. I think Haley, Phil and Jordin will be your bottom three, with Haley going home.
That'll do it for me. Oh, one more thing...
Sincerely,
Your Friendly, Neighborhood Seer
2 comments:
As a 1st time reader.
Love the blog. Love the pictures.
Right on the money.
I would have loved to see JLo in Haley's shorts.
Thanks for the love, Shoeless. JLo would probably need a pound of Crisco to get into Haley's shorts, but I like the thought...
-The Seer
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