The Final 4 - May 8, 2007

Good evening, Idol fans! The Seer here, ready to deliver what promises to be one of the most interesting blogs in recent memory. That's because The Seer won't actually be blogging. Instead, he'll be watching his beloved Cleveland Cavaliers take on the New Jersey Nets in game 2 of the NBA's Eastern Conference Semifinals. Sorry, Seer fans, some things simply take precedence. Like LeBron, for instance. LeBron takes precedence over everything but Skyline Chili.

But fear not, my loyal subjects. I have enlisted none other than The Seer's Wife to guide you through tonight's Final 4 show. While TSW herself does not have any special prognosticating skills, she is currently home to The Seer's Baby, who will make her grand debut at some point in the next ten days. And, as we all know, TSB will no doubt possess all of her father's wondrous abilities and then some. So, think of tonight's blog as a joint effort from the women in The Seer's life. That's, of course, if I can pry TSW away from her precious computer solitaire game, which is just slightly less difficult than creating cold fusion using only three paper clips and a pint of orange sherbet.

I have given TSW carte blanche to write anything she wants, as long as:

1. She makes me sound cool if she writes about me
2. She gives me a good back scratch later
3. She isn't funnier than I am
4. She doesn't tell any stories about how I constantly talk to myself (which would also violate rule #1, and possibly rule #3 as well)

I have great confidence in my lovely wife to carry on the grand Seer tradition. I wouldn't give a job this important to just anyone. In the four years since I started going out with her, I have found TSW to be bright, talented, funny, insightful and one of the best cooks I have ever dated. She can speak three languages fluently, and is one of the most dedicated watchers of crappy television I've ever known. She also happens to own the world record for the longest restaurant order - an amazing seven minute, 43 second effort at the Olive Garden in West Palm Beach, Florida that involved no fewer than three waitresses and two busboys.

So, without further ado, I present to you, live from wherever she happens to be right now...hey now...The Seer's Wife! (I'll be in the other room screaming obscenities at the television set. So, really, I'm just going to be doing the same thing I usually do on Tuesday nights at 8 pm, only in a different room with a different show. By the way, if you read something like, "Ohhhhhhh. OUUUCH! OWWWWWW! AHHHHHH!!!!" please give me a call and let me know. That means it's time for me to TiVo the Cavs game and get the car started.)

Hi all,

This is Stephanie, and I have never been to the Olive Garden. Just want to clear that up first thing. Don't know why I agreed to do this - I personally think that SLH would do a much better job!! Anyway, my goal is to watch this in real time and not hit pause in order to continue writing, like the seer does. I find it annoying to drag out AI another 20 - 30 minutes, and that, my friends, is why solitaire is an integral part of my viewing experience. We'll see if this is doable.

The Bee Gees episode - this should be fun! Not as fun as I think Abba would be, but that's just one of many artists on my list that I would love to see on the show. Has Elton John been on? I can't remember (much of anything these days). If not, he should. What about Sheryl Crow? No one ever sings her songs on this show.

Wow - Mr. Barry Gibb has not aged well. I wonder what his brother Andy Gibb would look like, had he lived. He was my huge elementary school crush. Barry certainly has a weird way of talking - it's a mixture of bad dentures, an Australian accent, and a lipless Lord Voldemort.

OK - I lied about the not pausing. Out of nowhere, I suddenly got an image of myself relishing a chocolate covered glazed donut. Of course we don't have any of those here, so I had to go rummage in the kitchen. I found a bag of brownie chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joe's and am enjoying one now. I've got to get these things out of the house. Note to self - send to PCG with The Seer tomorrow!

Back to Melinda. Damn that was a good cookie.

Melinda looks SOOO much better with longer hair. You almost can't notice her lack of neck. I think this is a good song choice for her - what exactly are the women supposed to do with your canon of songs, Barry? Your whole schtick was singing in falsetto. Not sure what he would have chosen for her - or any of the female contestants for that matter. Without a doubt, Melinda is a great singer, and she's a good performer to boot. I just can't imagine what kind of album she would put out that I would want to buy. While she's the best singer on the show, I just don't get her as an American Idol. Wondering what the rest of you think about this??? That was a low blow from Simon - telling Melinda that was a "back-up" type of performance. Hitting her in her vulnerable place. Ouch.

Blake looks better blonde. Let's just put it on the table. Not impressed with him as a brunette, even with the blonde streaks in the front (which by the way is so 10 years ago - to be specific - so Claire in 90210). I have to say I'm not digging his falsetto, his cheesemeister outfit or his moves tonight. Anyone else notice that even when he's not singing his mouth is open? Kind of gives him a dumb, slackjawed look. Overall, boring and uncomfortably, effeminately weird. I'm not feeling him tonight, dawg.

LaKisha really showed great poise by watching the very weird looking Barry Gibb sing the "staying alive" chorus up in her face like that. She looks good tonight. I think her hair looks good (and as you can tell, that's what I'm paying attention to tonight!). I have the same complaint about her that I always do, though. I think she just looks dead in the eyes. Makes me doubt that she's feeling or channeling any authentic emotion at all. Makes me not buy her performance. To me that seemed like another mediocre performance by LaKisha.

Jordin is apparently Kelly Clarkson's fave this season. Kelly said she's young and not jaded yet. I think Jordin is a gorgeous girl with a lot of potential. She could drop 20 pounds and be a supermodel if this doesn't work out for her. Unfortunately this song is boring the bejeesus out of me. I don't have this kind of downtime - I could go into labor at any moment. Wish I was playing spider solitaire right now. I have no idea why the crowd is responding to her so warmly. I don't get it. I believe we're at the point in the season where the judges get really biased and give over the top critiques and praises to influence the vote. They've clearly decided that Jordin should be a top two contestant.

And now it starts all over again. Melinda, take two. She "prays" she's ready to perform to tonight. Anyone else notice how religious the contestants were this season? Melinda, Phil, LaKisha... There are a number of contestants who would probably be very happy as gospel singers after their AI experience. I can't believe the song choices tonight. Could someone puh-leeze choose an uptempo song. You've got the entire disco era to choose from. I would like to hear some booty-shaking music, and the baby seer really likes to get her groove on in-utero. I have a feeling The Seer will really like this song and this performance when he watches it later. It's putting me to sleep. Maybe I should bring a copy of this with me to labor and delivery for a little hypno-birthing.

Blake is trying to do something upbeat, and I sincerely appreciate that. Unfortunately, no one knows this song so it's a little hard to get into. I disagree with Barry that this song could be a hit - ever. Maybe I'll be eating these words later. Get Timbaland to produce it, and I guess anything could happen. Barry Gibb is not doing for the idols what Bon Jovi did for them. The energy is just not there like it was last week, when almost everyone sounded great.

LaKisha is doing, what else, a ballad. I think she's sounds better in her practice sessions than she does on stage. She's doing a better job on this unknown song than she's done in a while. You can hear some of the more interesting qualities in her voice that originally made me like her. From the judges comments, sounds like they have decided she needs to go home.

Jordin is singing a song that I used to love when I was in my Barbra Streisand phase way back when. Interested to hear her interpretation... So she dressed for prom. 'Tis the season. Guess she's got a hotel room booked and some mad dog stashed in the trunk of her car. Or maybe that's just how we did it in the South. At first I thought she sounded good on the high notes and that her voice was well suited for this song. Now it seems like she's just screeching at me. Stop it!!!!

So here are my predictions - I think LaKisha will go home, even though I think Jordin or Blake deserve to go home, though. Will I make a call to manifest my opinion either way? No I will not.

Thanks for reading! Tune in next week to see if The Seer is here blogging or has his hands full with a new baby! Ciao!

Hey dudes and dudettes. The Seer back with ya. It's halftime, and the Cavs have a three point lead. So how'd TSW do? I must say, I agree with every single thing she's written despite the fact that I haven't watched the show yet and I haven't read a word she wrote. I can just sense these things. I am a seer, after all. I'd like to thank the lovely TSW for pinch hitting for me tonight. She's a real trooper. I'd also like to thank her for not going into labor so I can watch the rest of my game.

(By the way, I'm surprised I got off so easy. There wasn't even one story of how I talk to myself about horse racing in the bathroom. And that happens at least four times a day.)

-Your Friendly Neighborhood Seer