Feb. 28 - Final 10 Girls

Hello out there in webby land. The Seer here with another sweet-ass night of blogosity. As we all know by now, Antonella is still on the show, and that truly happies The Seer. She shouldn't be kicked off the show because she took a few compromising photos. (On the contrary, she should be hailed the world over with tickertape parades and a guest spot on Playboy TV.) She should be kicked off the show the old fashioned way, for singing like a beached whale on quaaludes.

Before we get started, how about a little love for The Seer, who correctly picked two of the four who were jettisoned last week. That's not bad considering there were 24 contestants.

Gina Glocksen starts off the night. She's been pretty good, but she doesn't necessarily have the personality to go deep into the competition. She's doing a song that Carrie Underwood knocked out of the park a couple years ago. That's a risk. A real risk. Especially considering she's been flat the whole way through. Big, big mistake to sing that song. Plus, she went first, which means people are going to forget her. Randy liked it. What's wrong with him? Must be deafened by his shirt. Paula likes it, too. What morons. Sic her, Simon! What? Simon kind of liked it, too? Did I take an Ambien? (For those who don't know, The Seer tends to hallucinate on Ambien. It's actually quite funny. I could sell tickets to it. I once thought there was a beaver jumping out of our armoire.) By the way, does anyone else think it was funny that Paula, of all people, remembered Carrie singing "Alone?" She's like some kind of Vicodin savant.

Alaina Alexander is batting second tonight. Last week, she was all style, no substance. She's still pretty hot, and she's still pretty awful. Not even close to being good enough to challenge in this competition. She'll be a lucky, lucky woman to survive this week.

And now it's LaKisha Jones, the star of last week's show. She can solidify her frontrunner status with another great performance tonight. This is one of the great songs of all-time. I've got to say, this was a good performance, but not a great one. It was missing something, especially after what we saw last week. I wish they would stop using backup singers. First of all, they only use them on certain songs, and they take away from the contestant's vocals. Who needs 'em? Overall, a good performance from LaKisha, but nothing overwhelming. I completely agree with Simon on the outfit, by the way.

Can Melinda Doolittle take advantage of LaKisha's slight hiccup? Everybody's horking from Season 4 tonight. Constantine Maroulis sang this song two years ago. Hey, speaking of Constantine, who's the guy TSW is all hot for this year? Why am I asking you? Let me ask TSW, who's busy scarfing down a plate of nachos that The Baby Seer apparently directed her to eat. "They're all too young for me now," says TSW. "The only one I think is objectively attractive this year is Brandon, but none of them make me salivate." She says as she eats her nachos 17 at a time. "I need more sour cream," says TSW. "Just bring me the whole container. I might need more salsa, too." Has anyone ever won a Pulitzer Prize for blogging? Melinda was great, by the way. Best of the night so far, and maybe the best of the season.

Okay, here we go. The moment we've all been waiting for. Antonella Barba time. She's wearing a cool little retro-60s dress. That's a good start. More than her performance, I'm looking forward to how they handle things before and after the song. Will Ryan or the judges mention her photos? More importantly, will they show her photos? I've got TiVo going, baby! Gimme the good stuff! Damn, Antonella looks good! Does she have a nickname? She has to, right? Toni? Nella? Portapotty? Here she goes, after Ryan neglected to mention the photos. Singing a Celine Dion song is, to say the least, stupid. She's just not all that good. Her voice isn't close to being equal to the task. Of course, as I might have failed to mention before, she's smokin' hot!!! Grade: A++. (She gets extra credit for even going out there after what happened this past week. Otherwise, she would have just been an A+.) Hey, show her from the back again. FROM THE BACK, I SAY!

Jordin Sparks is up next. She's a wild card in this thing. In horse racing parlance, she could be any kind, which means she could be good enough to win, or she could be gone in a couple weeks. Nobody really knows. Except The Seer, of course. And he will tell you if you send a $500 check or money order to:

The Seer
Mount Olympus

Back to Jordin, who's doing Christina Aguilera. Kind of like The Seer did a few years ago. Hideous, hideous start. Just dreadful. Appalling. Pitiful. Awful. Have I mentioned hideous? Why are they all picking songs by these great divas with incredible voices? There's no percentage in it unless you're incredible yourself. And incredible Jordin ain't. She does have one of the best names in Idol history, though. That alone should get her into the Final 12. (I haven't seen all the judges miss the boat on a performance like this in a long time.)

Has anyone else noticed how many products of interracial marriage we have on the show this year? I count six or seven. Maybe more. I have no joke for this. TSW, got a joke for this? "Mbubmbuthmblummbth," says TSW.

It's Stephanie Edwards' turn. She was good last week. Right? Who can remember. I can't even remember what I had for dinner tonight, and it's still in my mouth. Wow, Kellie Pickler's on tomorrow night? I haven't been this excited since Yom Kippur. TSW says this is a Beyonce song. Her voice sounds like Beyonce's. She's doing a nice job, and she looks great. She has the best sense of style in the competition. Speaking of Beyonce, what's the over/under on how many auditioners sing "Irreplaceable" next season"? 20,000? I'm singing it right now. Then again, I'm always singing it.

Here's Leslie Hunt, a.k.a. The Contestant Most Likely to Work in the Cubicle Next to You. Why would you pick a song someone just sang last night? I think this is just about the best she can do, which is admirable but not nearly good enough. And she looks like her head is about to explode. At least that would be cool. I'd vote for anyone who blows her head up onstage.

Haley Scarnato's next. She seems like a genuinely nice person. Nice ain't gonna cut it, though. You've gotta have pipes. Or, in Antonella's case, a tremendous rack. There's something amateurish about this performance. It's like she's pretending to be a great singer in a Saturday Night Live skit. I like her, but she just doesn't have it.

Sabrina Sloan is our anchor woman this week. This might surprise you, but The Seer thinks Sabrina is hot. There's something about her. She kind of looks like Mya, and The Seer digs him some Mya. Another wild card. She has potential, but she's a bit unpolished. She's been good tonight, and I think she's a darkhorse candidate to get to the final four or five.

So that's it for tonight. Not as good as the guys last night, but not bad. I think Alaina and Leslie are gone tomorrow.

Have a good night. I've got to go pry the plate of nachos out of TSW's cold, cold hands. If you don't hear from me next week, call the police. Not Sting and Stewart Copeland. They're on tour.

Sincerely,
Your Friendly, Neighborhood Seer