March 6 - The Final 8 Boys

So here we are again. The Seer's a bit late coming to this party. TSW and I just moved into a new place, and we went to Home Depot tonight to get some stuff. That was after a trip to Arby's so TSW and the impending Baby Seer could satisfy their fake roast beef jones. You ain't seen nothing until you see a pregnant woman scarf down a Arby's Giant roast beef sandwich. It's kind of like watching alligators flipping all over each other to eat the henchman in a James Bond movie.

Let's give The Seer his due. He hit three out of four last week, correctly predicting that Nick, Leslie and Alaina would go home. For the season, he's five for eight. Sweet job, Seer.

The boys are going first again this week. The theme tonight is each contestant will tell us a secret about himself. I think this is as good a time as any for The Seer to reveal a secret. So here it goes: I cry when I bowl. On with the show...

Blake starts off this week's show. First of all, he starts off by showing us Billy Boy Blue, or whatever he called his alter ego. Not bad. Sounded a little like George Bush, but smarter. Blake sounds good tonight, as usual. And he's doing that scat/beatbox thing again. I haven't gotten sick of that yet, but I guess it could become a bit tiresome at some point. But he was very good. He's definitely original, and clearly multi-talented. Plus, he seems to be able to style his hair in just about any way and look cool. That's a trait The Seer truly admires.

Speaking of hairstyles, here's Sanjaya. I guess you would have to call his coiff the 'Heather Locklear Special.' Way to go, Sanjaya. You're giving men everywhere a wonderful name. Seriously, could he be any gayer? Not that there's anything wrong with that. Clay Aiken was gay. Hell, The Seer's gay. What? That can't be right. Okay, here's his secret. Oh...my...god. Sanjaya, I think I speak for the rest of America when I say that we, under no circumstances, are even remotely surprised that you can hula. This has to be an joke, right? Sanjaya must be some kind of classically trained actor who's putting one over on the whole country in what will be the greatest hoax in American television history. He can't really be like this? Can he? CAN HE?!?! I take back the Heather Locklear thing. He actually looks more like Courteney Cox. TSW thinks he'll transition to the female sex in a few years. I say he's already begun. As far as his performance, well, it sucks. There's a surprise.

Sundance is up next. Get a load of that chest hair! He's like Sasquatch on a bad day. And he sounds like Chewbacca. At least he does tonight. This is horrible. He hasn't hit a single note yet. What a disastrous song choice. He was good last week, but he's taken a monster step down tonight.

Time for Chris Richardson. The Seer hasn't really gotten Chris to this point. He sounds like the noise a balloon makes when someone's letting the air out of it. TSW loves Chris, and says I just can't hear him. Oh, I hear him. And I want to kill myself. If this guy wins this competition, I will never blog again. I can't say it any more strongly.

Here's Jared. So the guy can hoop it up. Okay, as bad as Chris was (according to me), this guy is ten times worse. This looks and sounds like something you'd see in a Christopher Guest film. He blows. Randy thinks that was a solid performance? Solid what? Solid waste maybe.

It's Brandon's turn. I thought this was going to be really good when it started. The problem is that Brandon's voice just isn't all that great. It's okay, but that's about it. He looks good, and that might be enough to get him into the Final 12. I stress the word "might."

So Phil's singing a LeeAnn Rimes song? Shouldn't that be Sanjaya's job? This song had a really bad start. And it's not getting much better. Where did this come from? Another huge step back. This show has been devastatingly bad. Blake started it off right, and it's gone downhill since. I hope they all get voted off.

Chris Sligh's the anchorman tonight. He's already one of the best of the evening, and he hasn't even sung a note. The Seer's Baby's a better singer than most of these guys, and she hasn't even been born yet. This guy is one of the very few boys who has a chance to win this competition. He brings it every week, and he hasn't chosen a bad song yet. I'd be shocked if he's not in the Final 4.

Thank god Chris ended things up on a high note. I was just starting to fit the noose over my neck. The beginning of the show was good and the end of the show was good. The stuff in the middle was 100% industrial strength crapola. So who won't be around next week for the Final 12? I know Jared Cotter is gone. I still think Sanjaya could survive on the strength of the little girl vote, but something tells me his time might be up. So I'll go with Jared and Sanjaya as the ones hitting the tarmac.

Talk to ya tomorrow...
Your Friendly Neighborhood Seer