The Final 11 - March 20, 2007

Welcome back to The Seer's lair, Idol fans. The Almighty Seer didn't so well with his prediction last week. I had the bottom three pretty much nailed, but I said Gina would be sent packing rather than Brandon. You might wonder how this could happen, given my status as a seer and all. The only thing you need to know is that The Seer moves in mysterious ways. Just like the chick in the U2 song.

Tonight's theme is...I have no idea what tonight's theme is. I'm writing this at 7:52 pm so I can get a jump on things. So let's make up a theme. Tonight's theme is songs that you chew tobacco to. No, wait, it's songs that make you think of Sally Field. Oh, now I've got it: songs that have the word "toothbrush" in them. That would be sweet. If I were on that show, I'd sing the Motley Crue hit, "Toothbrush in the Boys Room." Or maybe "Rock Around the Toothbrush." Didn't Sally Field sing that in Smokey in the Bandit right before Burt Reynolds put a big wad o' chew in his cheek? Well, that's how I remember it.

Before we start the show, The Seer would like to send a shout out to The Seer's Little Helper, who has been instrumental in teaching me how to use Blogger and generally do everything else related to this blog. SLH is possibly the world's biggest reality TV fan. She even watches a show called "Celebrity Toliet Training" that airs on The Discovery Channel. Thanks, SLH, for everything you do.

On with the show...

Tonight's theme is actually the British Invasion. That's a new one. Generally speaking, I like the idea. I wonder, though, how these young whippersnappers will relate. But Lulu and Peter Noone were the best they could get? Where's Mick? Where's Ringo? Where's Roger Daltrey? TSW, where's my chocolate milk?

Haley's starting things off this week. I love those short shorts. If Antonella were wearing those shorts, I'd be dead right now. This song is an excellent choice for her. TSW thinks it's boring as (bleep), but I think she's adorable, and this is really working for me. It's definitely her best performance of the season. And she's showing her entire back. Her entire back, I tell you! Paula called her adorable, too. Yikes, I'm starting to agree with Paula? And Simon's right, she was rather, um, bouncy tonight. Nothing wrong with that, I say.

Oh boy, it's time for Chris R. Yay, I can't wait. I'm such a big fan. I must admit, he started the song off beautifully. I've never heard him sound so good. The rest of the song hasn't been quite as good, but he's doing a nice job. Overall, this was a nice performance. Not perfect, but very good. He showed a side that he hasn't shown yet, and his vocals finally sounded like something other than a shrieking dog. Let this be a lesson to everyone: The Seer is all about honesty and fairness. When someone's good, I'll say it. Except with Sanjaya. She sucks.

Did Fox just go to black in a break during the #1 show on television? I wonder if that was a network spot. If so, 30 people are gonna lose their jobs because Fox just lost about a million bucks in ad revenue.

Here's Stephanie. This is one of the great songs of all-time, and should be a fantastic choice for her. I'm expecting big things here. Well, I wish she had been equal to the task. Ultimately, the song ended up being too big for her. In the hands of a better singer, that could have been an Idolmaker. Imagine Kelly Clarkson singing that song. It would have been gold. As it was, it just served to prove why Stephanie is a cut below the best.

By the way, did Paula forget her makeup tonight? She looks awful. Not oh-my-god-she's-huffing-sterno-fumes-again awful, but awful in a way that says she just doesn't care anymore.

Wait a second, this is a two hour show? What the hell are they gonna do for two hours tonight? I can't sit here for that long. SLH, get my agent on the phone. I can't work like this.

It's Blake's turn. Another seemingly good song choice. What's going on here? Did the contestants finally grow brains? I miss Antonella's brains. 95% of this was great. He can't quite get to those notes in the upper register, but it really doesn't matter. Finally, we have a contestant on this show who is totally original. There's never been anyone like him before. This kid doesn't need to win this competition. Much like Chris Daughtry last year, Blake will be the biggest star this season produces by far. He's got superstardom written all over him. If I could buy stock in any entertainer right now, he would be at the top of my list.

You know, people make fun of Ryan Seacrest, but you've got to give the guy credit. This show wouldn't be the same without him. Speaking of making fun of people, have I mentioned how TSW is Madison Avenue's dream come true? The woman never looks at the television until a commercial comes on. As soon as a commercial break starts, she perks up like a dog that's just heard a car pull into the driveway.

Here comes LaKisha. She thought about going with "Diamonds Are Forever," which would have been a great choice. Oh, she is going with it. Another excellent choice. One of the great James Bond songs. Maybe the best. Here's some Bond trivia for you: Shirley Bassey is the only person to sing more than one Bond song. She actually sang three: the legendary "Goldfinger," "Diamonds Are Forever" and the forgettable "Moonraker." Don't say I never taught you nothin'! Speaking of James Bond, The Seer is very excited because Casino Royale just arrived in his mailbox via Netflix. He can't wait to get reacquainted with his man-crush, Daniel Craig. (The Seer finds Craig's animal magnetism and rugged British charm irresistible.) So how did LaKisha do? Very well. She's no Shirley Bassey, but nobody is. She actually sounded a lot like Shirley. Not quite as rich, but very, very good. Still, LaKisha hasn't been able to touch her amazing performance of a few weeks ago.

Let's see what Phil does. He's going down Tobacco Road. TSW's asking what's all over his shirt. That's a good question. Is it sweat? He's only been out there for five seconds. Who is he, Albert Brooks? Looks like he's sweating grease. Phil's doing a nice job, though. This reminds me of a song Taylor Hicks would have done, but I like Phil better. (Never was a Taylor fan.) I'm not sure how long Phil's going to last, but he seems like a really good guy.

What's going on here? We're only 60 minutes into this show, and we've only heard six singers? Feels like I've been sitting here for six days. Have the Idol producers figured out how to manipulate the space-time continuum?

Time to see what Jordin can do. She was excellent last week. She's doing a Shirley Bassey song, too. This must be TSW's favorite show of all-time. She's a huge Shirley Bassey fan. First of all, let me say that Jordin is a beautiful girl. At first, this performance reminded me of Stephanie's tonight. The song sounded too big for her initially, but as Randy would say, she really worked it out, dog. She got better as the song went on. Very tough choice and a very good performance. Jordin is the one contestant who seems to be getting better as the show goes on. She has to be considered a real threat to win this thing.

At this point, I'd like to point out that this has been one of the best shows of the season. Nearly everybody has stepped up to the plate tonight, a rarity at this stage in the game. And just as I write that, Sanjaya steps into the fray. Nothing like her to ruin a good thing. Let's see if Howard Stern's favorite makes a fool of herself again. Sanjaya doing The Kinks? So many jokes, so little space. They just showed a girl bawling her eyes out. "Mommy, why is that woman shrieking on stage like that?!?!" This is getting a little ridiculous. It's getting a lot ridiculous. She needs to go. Her sister's hot, though.

Gina's doing the Stones tonight. This genre should be up her alley. She's going with "Paint It Black." This is one of those songs The Seer sings as he walks around the house. I liked it. It was kind of like Joan Jett doing the Stones. She made the song her own, and even though she missed a few notes, I enjoyed it. I still think she could be in trouble, though.

Chris S. is the penultimate performer tonight. That was interesting. He came out of the crowd like a whale coming out of the surf. Has anyone ever done that before on this show? He sounds great. This song is right in is wheelhouse. He's back on track with his song choices. A hundred times better than last week.

We finish up with Melinda tonight. I don't think a song from Oliver! really counts as a British Invasion song, does it? Even though she's a great singer, I've got to say that Melinda is a weird looking babe. I can't tell if she looks 60 years old or 12 years old. This was actually pretty boring for me. Technically, she sang it beautifully, but it really didn't fit the genre.

All in all, this was an excellent show. Definitely the best of the season and one of the better shows in Idol history. It's difficult to predict a bottom three, especially with all the people out there campaigning for Sanjaya. I'm going to call Haley, Phil and Gina in the bottom three, with Phil going home.

See ya next week (even though I can see you right now - remember, I am a Seer),
Your Friendly, Neighborhood Seer